This Is Crazy
by seeyouontheice
Summary: because janny needed more of a moment


_"This is crazy," Jac said as Mo opened the door to reveal Jonny waiting with an ultrasound machine._

_"You need scan. I have machine," he stated matter-of-factly. _

_"And how does this fit in with nobody finding out?" Jac demanded._

_"Well the longer you stand there …"_

_"Will you two hurry up!" Mo hissed as she shut the door and Jac hurried over to Jonny. Pulling the curtain across so that they couldn't be seen from the door, Jac climbed up onto the bed. Jonny switched on the machine as Jac pulled up her top, exposing her stomach. _

_"Okay," Jonny said, turning to her, "now this is gonna be very cold."_

_"Yes I know the drill," Jac told him irritably. Jonny was beaten to his response by Elliot's voice just outside the bay._

_"Anyone seen Ms Naylor?" Jonny ducked down and shared a look with Jac._

_"I think I saw her heading to ITU …" in that small moment Jac was grateful to Jonny's friend._

_Hoping the coast was clear Jonny stood upright and looked at her. "Come here," he muttered, placing the scanner probe on Jac's stomach. She flinched._

_"Oh that's freezing!" she hissed, not expecting it to be that cold._

_"Yeah well I did warn ya," Jonny grinned, his attention on the screen. Jac glanced at it – everything seemed boringly normal and not even resembling anything like a baby – and then looked at Jonny, wondering what he was thinking. He met her gaze and Jac wondered if that was a smile lurking on her lips in response to his smile._

_ Jonny asked something along the lines of 'everything alright?' to which Jac replied with a usual cryptic reply which translated as 'this is really happening?' Jonny printed off a photo and switched off the machine while Jac wiped the gel off her stomach and yanked her top down._

_He offered it to her but she told him that his love for clichés meant he should pin it to his fridge instead and before he could protest – which was what she had wanted him to do – Elliot's voice wafted back into the room, rather annoyed this time. "I can't very well deal with Mr Misra if there's no one to do the handover can I?" _

_Jonny ducked down, grabbed the file and before Jac had time to stop him, disappeared out of the room. "Ah, Professor Hope …"_

* * *

"And where have you been hiding all day Jac?" Elliot asked as he sidled into the locker room at the end of the shift with Jonny in tow. "Oh … my apologies Ms Effanga …" he blushed and turned his back as Mo, sharing a smirk with Jac, told him not to bother and that they'd all seen a topless woman before now.

"And Jac's just been her usual wee difficult self, haven't ya?"

"Meaning?"

"Nothing," he smirked as he opened his locker and yanked his scrub top off.

"I've just been busy elsewhere," Jac explained lamely and Elliot nodded before embarrassing them all as he started to get changed.

"Not getting changed Jac?"

"In a moment," she muttered. It was stupid really, not like she was showing or anything so no way for Elliot to work it out, but she didn't feel comfortable knowing that both Mo and Jonny would be trying to detect any signs of her pregnancy while Elliot stood – potentially – able to ask why they were staring at Jac's stomach.

A nurse poked her head round the door just then and asked Jonny for the keys to the drugs cabinet, he dug a hand into his pocket and then frowned, "hang on – where've they gone the wee devils?" Jac watched amused as he searched the linen basket where he'd chucked his scrub top and as he extended his search to the nurses' station – still shirtless.

"He'd forget his head if it wasn't attached to his neck," Elliot said wisely as he tucked in his shirt and picked up his bag. "Well I'm off … will I be seeing you ladies tomorrow?"

"No, I'm at my parents' for a few days." Mo answered while Jac nodded slowly. Sighing, Jac shut her locker and twisted the key – not ready to get changed just yet. "Listen … I didn't mean to tell him that I knew – it just … slipped out." Jac turned to face her, "I mean it's not as if you told me … I figured it all out by myself."

"Yeah well you can tell him that during your next punch downing contest."

Mo gave her a knowing look, "you're just annoyed you can't join us!"

"Oh yes, yes Mo that is _exactly_ my problem …" she shut the door to Jonny's locker and locked it, putting the key in her pocket along with her own and headed out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Mo called to her.

"I'm going to laugh at how Jonny is wondering around Darwin shirtless looking for a key to the drugs cabinet – which, incidentally, the lock is broken on – care to join me?"

"Well I have a few minutes to spare before my dad picks me up … and this way, you won't be accused of stalking him."

"What?" Jac asked incredulously as Mo led the way over to the nurses' station.

"Oh, so you _weren't_ eyeing him up as he stripped?" Jac froze, uncertain what to say and Mo grinned, "It's no biggie … I figured as much." At Jac's confused look, the registrar lolled against the nurses' station and rolled her eyes. "I hear he made you cry?"

Jac sighed defeated, "attached at the hip you two aren't you? What one knows the other is sure to in a matter of minutes. Why do I bother even trying to keep things private?"

"Hay … Jonny was worried; he didn't know where you'd run off to … and where would you two have been earlier? When Elliot was looking for you? Huh?" Mo pulled her most appealing face and Jac rolled her eyes.

"Fine! You win."

"Can I have that in writing?" they were interrupted by Jonny as he chivvied them out of his way as he continued to pull the ward apart in his search for the key. Jac watched as the muscles in his arms and back flexed and rippled as he moved, and when Jac turned back to Mo the registrar's wicked little laugh told her that she'd been caught – again.

"Shut up," Jac muttered as Jonny headed towards a part of Darwin he hadn't torn apart in his search, "Mo be quiet!" she hissed, "Serena's coming!"

"Not trying to cover up a joke at my expense I hope Jac?"

Mo bit her lip as she pulled a straight face, "No, she's telling me to shut up because I caught her eying up Jonny Mac!"

Serena raised her eyebrows and smiled knowingly as Jac looked determinedly away from them. "I can't blame you … why is he topless? Not that I'm complaining all that much … sorry Jac." Jac spread her hands helplessly as Mo giggled again. "What? It's obvious how you feel about him … what was the diagnosis in the end? For that 'patient' you asked my opinion on a few weeks back?" when she took a moment to respond, Serena rolled her eyes. "Oh you're a terrible liar Jac; I know it was you … what did obs and gynie say?"

"Endometriosis. Okay? Can we move on now?"

"Ah … you didn't end things with Jonny because of that did you? Jac!" shaking her head, Jac distanced herself from the two female surgeons who should be her closest friends in all fairness since they were three in a male dominated world.

"I did ask her that," Mo chipped in as her phone rang. "Sorry 'suse me, dad?" she walked off as Serena caught Jac gazing at Jonny once again. "No that's fine … okay. No dad just make sure to lemme know if her cold gets any worse alright? Yeah love to you and mum … bye!" she turned back to Jac and Serena. "Well there goes my break."

"Yeah … my daughter's off at her dad's." Serena's eyes brightened as she had a sudden thought, "why don't us girls go for a drink?"

"Girls?" Jac repeated while Mo immediately agreed.

"Yes … why not? We girls gotta stick together!"

Jac decided that if she didn't answer then they'd get the hint and leave without her. Spotting the keys to the drugs cabinet actually _in_ the broken lock Jac rolled her eyes at Jonny's stupidity and grabbed them before wondering where he'd gotten to. Typically he bumped into her and made her drop them as he backed out of one of the side rooms. "Shit sorry! No no, I'll get them," he added as Jac bent down to pick them up.

"No point," she was very aware that they were in full view of Mo and Serena at the nurses' station. "And they were in the lock by the way – which is broken … so no point in needing them or anything really."

Jonny shook his head as he took the keys. "This is the bit where you complain about passing on my appalling forgetfulness onto the baby."

"Keep your voice down!" Jac hissed, checking that no one was around to hear them. Jonny rolled his eyes before taking her arm and then pulling her into the side room they'd done the ultrasound in earlier. "What are you doing?" she asked as he shut the door and pulled her behind the still drawn curtains.

"You're annoyingly difficult to talk to when people can see or hear us."

Jac didn't quite know how to respond to that. Mo popped her head round the door just then and Jac groaned – was there no end to her interference? "Yeah Serena and I'll meet you at the bar then Jac yeah? In an hour?"

"I can't drink."

"One drink won't hurt you– besides there's no way you'll fool Serena … if you don't turn up in an hour then we'll assume that you two are at it in the linen closet." Before Jonny or Jac could respond to her remark, she'd shut the door and made a run for it.

"Since when have you been one to go for a drink with Serena and Mo?"

"Serena has this 'us girls gotta stick together' attitude on tonight." Jac sank onto the bed and laid back like she'd done when Jonny had performed the ultrasound. He perched on the edge and fiddled with the useless keys.

"You gonna go?"

Jac rolled her eyes, "you heard Mo – if I don't then they'll assume the worse."

"The worse?" Jonny repeated, "I don't remember you complaining _once_ about what we did in that store room," he was trying ever so hard not to grin and Jac shook her head. "Don't drink that much though, will you? I mean, you'll be careful right?"

Jac threw him a look. "I'm not an idiot Jonny. I know what I can and can't do."

"Is that why you've abandoned your sexy biker look then? For the …" he pointed at her stomach, but Jac wasn't overly interested in that part just yet.

"_Sexy biker look_? Is that why you always seem in a much happier mood whenever I came on it then?" Jonny glanced round the room as he figured out a reply that wouldn't drop him in the shit but Jac just laughed and he realised that she was teasing him. "So … how hard are you finding it to not wave that photo that is supposed to be a baby under every available nose?"

Jonny shrugged, "I'm still trying to digest it me self," he admitted with a smile. "I mean … it's what I always wanted – having a baby – but I always figured …"

"It would happen the normal way," Jac finished quietly.

"Yeah … but when have we ever done things properly Jac?" she tried to hid her smile but figured that there was little point.

"The normal way seemed too boring at the start, didn't it?" Jonny grinned.

"Just a wee bit boring yeah."

Jac watched him as he shifted to a more comfortable perch on the end of the bed. "Boring would've been so much easier though …" she admitted. "Would have probably been simpler and …"

"Less complicated … your right; it would've." Jonny bit his lip as he made to say something and Jac frowned, waiting for him to speak. "Would still be … boring would probably still be easier and – and … less complicated and … um, it'd definitely be simpler and …" Jonny waited, most likely expecting Jac to yell at him.

"But would it work?" Jac whispered and she swore she heard him let out a sigh of relief that she hadn't gotten all 'Jac-ish' about it. "The normal boring way … would that work for us?"

"Depends …"

"On?"

"If we wanted it to and … stuff," Jonny scratched his shoulder and Jac was suddenly acutely aware of how he was still shirtless. "I mean … theoretically, we could … give it a go?"

"But what if it didn't – if it didn't work out? What then? What would we do then?" Jac asked and Jonny nodded as he too wondered 'what if it didn't work'.

"Too risky?" he asked after several long moments of silence.

"Way too risky …"

Jonny nodded with a thoughtful look across his face – it almost made him look intelligent – and Jac's eyes never left his. "Well … I'd er …" he broke eye contact and scratched his head as he got to his feet, "well we'd better … er … get changed – I mean Mo and Serena are expecting you and …"

"Yes." Jac agreed, pushing herself off the bed, "yeah you're … yeah."

It wasn't exactly awkward as they left the side room and headed over to the locker room, but then it wasn't as if there wasn't some tension between them either. Since Jonny was giving up the key to the drugs cabinet – and reporting the broken lock – Jac entered the locker room alone and placed Jonny's locker key into the correct one before opening her own.

She'd pulled on her trousers and was fishing her blouse and shoes out as Jonny wondered in with a small smile. Flashing him one in return, Jac hung up her blouse and shoved her shoes on the bench next to her bag before closing her locker and tucking the keys away inside her bag. Jonny had only just opened his locker. Knowing that he was watching her out of the corner of his eyes, Jac pulled off her scrub top and chucked it half-heartedly towards the linen pile.

Catching her reflection in the mirror, she stopped and wondered how long her stomach would remain as it was and wondering how it would distort the kidney scar. Almost without realising it, Jac traced the blemish with one finger; letting her mind remember the events that had led up to her second trip to theatre. Tearing her thoughts firmly away from that painful subject, Jac turned to find that Jonny had been watching her the entire time.

"What?" she asked, grabbing her blouse off the peg. He said nothing as he placed his hands on her waist and searched for something in her eyes.

There was a hint of a smile upon his lips, he whispered, "but what if normal and boring _did_ work?"

And then he kissed her. Immediately all rational thoughts fled her mind as she dropped her blouse to the floor and slid her hands down his chest while he pressed her against the row of lockers behind her. It was nice, to have him so close and have his skin against hers – she'd missed it – and have his hands running through her hair and have his tongue dancing with her own. One of her hands was resting lightly on his neck with the other seemed content in resting over his heart.

There was none of their usual urgency to the kiss, but the passion – the love – was still there. Because it had been love that they had; any idiot could see that. It was gentle and tender and, honestly, the best kiss they'd shared. Twice the door opened and then closed just as quickly, but neither Jac nor Jonny took much notice as all they knew was the way the other's lips felt against theirs.

How long it lasted? Did it matter? When Jonny's hands sneakily and of their own accord had unclipped Jac's bra and hers had crept closer to the waist band of his trousers a shred of sense floated back into Jac's mind. Gently she began to end it, knowing that it was a harder task than it had ever been before, and almost as a statement to how much he didn't want it to end, Jonny fought her as much as her could. She nearly caved at least four different times.

Pulling away and biting her bottom lip ever so gently, Jonny returned his hands to her waist and rested his head against hers. Both were panting despite the lack of ... urgency? Desperation? … that had always been there before. "If I don't leave soon, Serena and Mo will probably come looking for me and I'd hate to have them to be right, wouldn't you?"

"You are a tease Naylor," Jonny murmured before he sighed and relented. Stepping backwards, he turned back to his locker as Jac picked up her blouse, shook it to get rid of the dust and then pulled it on. Surprisingly she had four text messages from Mo and a missed call from Serena.

"Apparently if I don't arrive within the next ten minutes they're gonna raid all the store rooms in search of us." Jac informed Jonny, who laughed.

"What now?" Jac asked a few moments later, picking up her bag and ready to leave.

Jonny turned round as he buckled up his belt – it seemed he was intent on remaining topless for as long as he could – and shrugged. "We do this the boring way? Slowly and … simply?"

"I can do slow," Jac agreed.

"Then we shall do this slowly," he smiled at her and Jac grinned despite herself before giving him a quick kiss goodbye. "See ya tomorrow Jac!" Jonny yelled after her and Jac swiftly shut the door on him.

Her thoughts were somewhat jumbled as she took the back stairs out of Holby. _Slowly_. Yeah, if they took things slowly then she was almost certain that the normal and boring way would work. Was this actually happening though? Had she actually found someone who wanted to stick around for her and who wanted to make things work with her? Had she – dare she say it – found _the one_?

Something told her that she may well have.

He'd seemed utterly shocked that he'd made her cry earlier – although Jac had to admit it was more that his words of how she couldn't cope alone had been true than him. How he had known that, she hadn't a clue and it scared her slightly, if he'd figured out that about her, if he'd managed to reduce her to tears, then what else had he worked out about her? What else did he know about her? Did he, for instance, know that she was scared of being left alone – even more so now that she was pregnant – and scared of being left behind? Did he know that she doubted herself, constantly, over her ability to be a good enough mother to this … _baby_ … inside her?

Sacha's words last week – whether he'd made the connections or not – had given her hope that, perhaps, she could be a parent and it was the one thing she was clinging onto right now. There would be other things too, she hoped, as the pregnancy progressed that she could clutch at to keep her from drowning in the pool of 'I can't do this!' but Sacha's words were enough for now. They had even given her the courage to say, out loud when she'd been in bed that night, that she was going to keep it.

It had sounded right when she'd spoken and for the first time since she'd been given her endometriosis diagnosis, Jac had actually had a good night's sleep. A vibration in her pocket woke her from her daydream and it was with slight difficulty that Jac managed the pub door – she was here already? – bag and phone at once. "What? I'm here!"

"Oh so you are!" Serena said brightly from the other end of the line and she wave to Jac over the crowd. Hanging up the pregnant consultant navigated her way through the punters and the members of staff who'd taken advantage of the fact that there was a pub two minutes' walk from the hospital. "You're almost late!"

"Well I'm not so can we drop it?" Jac asked as she sat between Mo and Serena. Frowning at the unfamiliar label on the almost empty bottle of wine in the middle of the table; she had to hand it to her colleagues, they sure know how to make quick work of a bottle of wine. "What you drinking?"

"It's awful … but cheap." Serena told her and Jac shrugged and glanced at Mo as she tried to come up with an excuse for not drinking while Serena poured the rest of the bottle into a third glass. "Erm yeah … apparently I can't drink with the medication I'm on …" Mo rolled her eyes and secretly Jac agreed with her; of all the excuses she went with the one that would backfire almost instantaneously.

"Oh really? Is that so is it? So you won't mind me asking what medication you're on then?" Serena clearly wasn't that drunk and Jac glanced at Mo for help.

"Don't look at me! You're the consultant and you come up with that as an excuse when you _know_ that we're all medical professionals." Before Jac could counter that Mo held up a hand to stop her, "I seem to remember you defending the fact that I knew before Jonny by calling me a medical professional."

"Knew what before Jonny?" Serena picked up immediately and Mo froze as her mouth once again got her into trouble.

"Thanks … 'just kinda slipped out' did it? Yeah I think I can see that now." Jac smiled sarcastically as Mo's phone bleeped a text message. Jac snatched it off the table before the registrar could and used the device as a means to distract the GS consultant from questioning Jac.

"Who's Zack?" Serena teased as she read the message over Jac's shoulder. "Oh and two kisses … what does that mean again?

"It means, 'why aren't we shagging yet?'" Jac laughed at Mo as she gave up the phone.

"I thought so too!" Serena laughed, draining her glass. "So, Maureen, who is he?"

"Ahahaha … yeah like I'd tell you two!"

"It's fine I'll text Jonny and ask him …"

"Don't do that!" Mo almost yelled.

"Why ever not? Go on Jac, I want to know just who he is." Serena encouraged.

Knowing that Mo was most likely going to drop her in it later on, Jac typed the message out and sent it and a moment or two later she got a bleep that told her Jonny had responded. "He doesn't know!" Jac reported to a disappointed Serena. "But he's asked me to find out and let him know because he needs to make sure he's up to scratch."

"Well Mo?"

Getting Mo to tell them proved to be easier than the consultants had anticipated – all that had been required was a couple of half decent bottles of wine and some mildly cheery music. "Fine!" she relented eventually, "he's a mate of my brother's … we were introduced at his barbeque last summer and …" she shrugged, "he's moved into the area and we've been out a few times."

"So you've accepted that my bestfriend is married and given up on Mr Thompson?" Jac asked as she sipped her glass of wine.

"Shut up Jac … and what will Jonny say when I tell him you've been drinking?"

Jac froze as she waited for Serena to make the connections. If she'd worked out that the 'patient' had been Jac, then putting two and two together wouldn't take long. Thankfully her attention had been diverted by Michael at the bar. Excusing herself she joined him as Jac and Mo sighed in relief. "Seriously! Get a grip of your tongue Mo!"

"But you really shouldn't be drinking Jac!"

"This is all I've had all evening," she told her, indicating the glass in front of her that still held two-thirds' of its content. "What did he want?" Jac added as Serena settled back down.

"Oh … nothing …" she said with a look that said 'something about you' and she grinned, beckoned to Mo and whispered whatever it was into her ear.

Ignoring the smirks, Jac reached for her phone as she received another text. Without warning a hand swiftly took it from her grasp and read the message allowed. "_You weren't hoping we could keep this secret were you? Because somehow everybody already knows,_ and it's from Jonny … which is hardly surprising. Spill Jac!"

Jac twisted in her seat so she could stick her middle finger up at Michael, and then grabbed her phone off Serena and Mo before they started scrolling through the backlog off messages between her and the father of her child. "Yeah … not gonna happen," but the small amount of alcohol she'd consumed persuaded her that, since apparently everybody already knew there was no harm in telling them. "Okay … what do you know?"

"According to Michael – although he's bound to exaggerate because it's you – you two were going at it in the staffroom on Darwin."

"Going at it? It was a kiss in the locker room."

"A kiss?" for some reason Serena seemed disappointed.

"She didn't say how long a kiss though, did you Jac?" Mo grinned, "how long Jac?"

Jac shrugged, "long enough for me to almost be late." As she'd expected their eyes lit up and Jac was dragged into the realm of 'girly chats'. Thankfully, what she and Jonny had gotten up to in the locker room didn't remain the focus although after plying her with more wine – Mo had conveniently forgotten that Jac wasn't supposed to drink – they did extract nearly every detail about the kiss from her first.

"Last order!" Albie yelled over the crowd and the three surgeons blinked and checked the time, shocked that it was in fact that late.

"Another?" Mo asked, stumbling to her feet and Serena nodded fervently.

"I think we've had enough – some of us have to work in the morning." Jac pointed out.

"Aw c'mon, one more bottle!"

"Seriously? I am the youngest here and the soberest!"

"Soberest? Is that even a word?" Serena asked draping an arm over Jac's shoulders as Mo went to get the bottle of wine. She returned with three glasses since Albie had refused to serve them a whole bottle so close to closing.

"I shouldn't be drinking," Jac told the two women as she foolishly accepted her third glass of the evening.

"Oh quit complaining Jac! _I'll_ have it if you're that bothered!" Mo took the glass off her and Jac didn't argue. By the time they had been ushered out of the pub, the evening had turned rather bitter and Jac quickly – as the most sober of the trio – took charge and ordered a taxi. It took a while to drag addresses out of Mo and Serena, but the cab driver seemed to be as amused as Jac at the drunkenness of the two women.

Thankfully Serena had gained some of her senses, enough to get out of the cab and unlock her front door at any rate. She stood waving them off with a bemused grin on her face before the door shut and Jac turned her attention back to Mo. Quickly realising that she couldn't remember Mo's address Jac resorted to Jonny. Reeling off his address, Jac fished out a twenty pound note to pay the driver with as she dragged the registrar out of the vehicle.

It only took about seven rounds of persistent knocking for Jonny to wake up and open his door in time to catch Mo as she passed out. Jac watched as he carefully guided his best friend into his front room and she smiled before shutting his door. "How much did she have?"

"Too much – I think she and Serena were trying to drink each other under the table," Jac admitted as he pulled her into his arms.

"How much have you had?" Jonny asked suspiciously and Jac laughed.

"Not much – a glass and a half? Can I stay?"

"Do you need to ask?" he smiled, "I can always get the camp bed out if sharing a bed is too fast for you though!" he joked and Jac rolled her eyes.

"Grow up Jonny; it's two in the morning and it'll be daylight before you find it."


End file.
